That's it. The last payment on my student loan. I wish I knew how to feel. I should be elated, I suppose, to have that damned albatross from around my neck, but I don't. I used to think that the phrase "powerfully ambivalent" was stupid. After all, how can you strongly feel nothing in particular? Well, I know now.

I suppose that whole time we were drawing apart, learning to do different things, training for different lives. I thought that we would keep in touch when we finished, naïvely I suppose. We were moving apart so slowly that we could not see it, but after graduation it was like springs expanding, and everyone moved apart so fast, in every direction except toward. Staying on to do my Masters was a bit like being at the center of an explosion; I used to be somewhere important, but suddenly I was where no one needed to be anymore. I don't know why that memory still hurts, its been twenty-eight years.